Do Not Judge! (..Or You Too Will Be Judged By Your Mind!)

 

We tend to judge and tag, categorize too easily. Since Adam and Eve began to name every single thing in the Paradise, we fell in love with the complex web of tagging, categorizing and labeling.

The ego, the little, constricted “me” in us, work this way. It is only satisfied if it is more beautiful, better, and more than someone else. Whoever it meets, it measures them, observes their clothing, and gets curious to know more about their economic welfare – so that in the end, it lowers their self-esteem: you are uglier than me, worse, poorer. And since I am more beautiful, better and richer than you, my value is higher than yours. I mean more than you, I am more important.

When it forgets about the similarities that are inside us and notices the differences instead, then it compares, draws parallels, and the equation of this process is:

Me ≠ You.   Me > You

And now he is completely satisfied.

It can also happen, that someone does the opposite of this: constantly compares himself with others, to prove his martyrdom: “I am not that beautiful, not good enough, not that rich, as someone else. Fate has served me ruthlessly. I am worthless.” And from this, they forge themselves an identity: “I am a martyr, a victim.”

Me < You

They drown in their sorrow and self-pity, and strangely enough, this makes them feel good.

“Oh, how awful this man is – I do not want to see him ever again”. “Oh, how terrible this place is – I am not coming here ever again”. “Oh, how gruesome this life situation is”.

With these, they also declare, that “I do not want to be here now. I would like to fly far away from here and now, from the moment of the present.” And they fly away. They fly into the act of watching television, consuming alcohol and into an even worse life situation.

When we label something, we think that we know what it is. No matter how unique this thing is, when comparing it with something, we always discover some kind of similarity, and then we can place this previously unique item into one of our labeled little boxes.

This object is like this and that, this another one is good, and this one is bad. It may only turn out later, that what we judged as bad, was in fact good. We were mistaken about the labeling.

Yet it happens sometimes, that today something may seem to be good, but it falls into disgrace tomorrow, and what we call bad luck today, will be (after the dots are connected and the events become meaningful) considered lucky later on. Just as the following story recounts:

One day the son of a simple man received a horse as a gift, his friend said to this:

“It is wonderful, that your son received a horse!”

The simple man answered: “Is it?”

Not so long later the boy fell off the horse and broke his leg. The friend pitied like so:

“It is horrific, that your son broke his leg!” and then the answer: “Is it?”

Then a war broke out and the boy did not get enlisted because of his injury. The friend was enthusiastic:

“What luck, that your son did not have to join the army because of his injury!”

But the simple man’s answer did not differ: “Is it?”

The simple man is the master of life, who practices nonjudgmentally. Whatever opinion and judgment he hears, he shrugs his shoulders and spreads his arms out: “Is it?”

He engages in no argument, accepts the judgment of others, as a personal, individual opinion. As an approach of the truth, that represents a point of view.

Because judgment is nothing else than just the approach of truth from another point of view, nothing more. Not the complete truth itself.

Just try it yourself:

Determine yourself, that you suspend making judgments. You focus not to judge for five minutes, for an hour, or even until death comes.

Whatever you see, hear, experience – do not judge. You accept it, as it is. You let it exist in the completeness of the moment.

When you meet an annoying, unpleasant person, with whom you need to endure a conversation’s while, instead of the usual introversion, choose to listen to the other with all your attention. When you are together, sacrifice them the major part of your attention. You are there with him with an aware consciousness, contemplate, listen – but do not judge. You observe them in an inner silence.

Whatever may enter the field of your consciousness, accept it. Do not object and resist, but let it exist! Without any rating and labeling.

By doing this, you give up your habit of boosting your ego by labeling, causing yourself mixed feelings of temporary joy or pain, and in return, the door of accepting consciousness opens up for you. Your life will be more peaceful and happier, and you will be open to receive the wonders of life.

(Excerpt from the book "Mindfulness Meditation - Journey into Consciousness" by Ervin K. Kery)